It was not your everyday "I'm upset" sort of angry, nor was it the "I'm mad!" variety.
This was the kind of anger that slowly swells up inside of you over a long period of time.
And all too often...
And just as often, that blaming is undeserved.
Rarely is the source a "this person" or "that thing" with this type of anger.
When I try on my own to track down its origins, I hit a spot where I find that...
But because of the nature of this anger, I don't know if that's 100% deserved either.
I mean, why am I upset at myself? What caused it?
For me it seems to be formed from little bits of anxiety, stress, and fears all coming together to condense into a sort of egg.
A Rage Egg.
Over time, as I continue to just push all those nasty bits down, the egg continues to grow.
That's fine though. It's safe down there right by those ticking time bombs and bottled up frustrations.
All is well...
And if any of you have ever had your Rage Egg crack, you'd know that the beast is f*cking scary! D:
Obviously it's best to avoid having a Rage Egg build up in the first place, but that's not always possible.
It can help to know the nature of this beast and thus in turn, how to deal with it. For the most part, the beast just wants to vent the stress, anxiety, frustrations and anger that form it. Finding a safe way for the beast to rage isn't always easy. Some of the more popular methods are yelling, hitting stuff*, cursing, and pulling your hair out.
*Like a punching bag. ._.
As for me, well...
It calms me down quite quickly, completely disperses the beast, and puts me in a good mood for quiet contemplation.
This was not the post I had planed on doing today. I got angry though.