Monday, November 1, 2010

How To Meet New People!

Meeting truly new people isn't always* easy.

*Honestly though it isn't that hard. Just get over yourself and your damn social anxieties already! D:<

Sure, you can get to know friends of friends, but those people aren't really new. You were bound to meet them eventually.

I am talking about actually, completely, fully, new people!

First, go to a public place, preferably one with many* people.

*A mall is good. They are known to often* have many people.

*During regular business hours of course. Geeze...

At that place, which is public, begin the people watching. Do this until you locate someone that mildly interest you at least physically and in the visual aspect. Sure this might seem creepy*, but it's still the best way to go about this.

*It is creepy... o.o

After acquiring a target, stop optically stalking them and instead do the next, obviously progressive step...

Say hello.

After initiating contact, try your best to gauge their response*. It will most likely be confusion, fear, or possibly both. This is normal.

*If you didn't get one because they didn't hear you well... that's crap. They are actually ignoring you. Keep trying to introduce yourself louder and louder until it is utterly impossible for them to brush you off.

Now begin walking up to them as if you were about to start a lovely little conversation. Then, while they are looking at you and giving you their full attention...

Punch them in the face.

Didn't that feel good? Wasn't it refreshing to make real contact with another human being whom you had never before met?

Well it doesn't have to end there. Much more can happen after that initial encounter. Remember, you simply need to stay positive and...

See where it goes from there.

If you follow these simple steps I assure you that you'll be on your way to meeting many MANY* new faces! :)

*Like cell-mates and prison guards. :D


  1. You might want to try this at Walmart. At least it'll be worth the jail time.

  2. This may have been one of your funniest posts, I rofl'd.

  3. but it is so hard to get over my social anxieties!!

  4. Ah, all the people I've meet by random chance have all passed away.
    So I'm trying to stop doing that. ._.

  5. Hmm..i'll try this out, and let you know about all the new friends i make!! (from my jail cell of course...)